雅思高分作文范例

雅思高分作文范例。雅思作文写不好，多看看别人的高分作文范例也是很好的选择，可以看到自己的不足在哪里，下面是小编整理的雅思高分作文范例，希望能帮到你!

雅思高分作文的四大要素及范文

雅思考试的评分标准包括四个方面：

Task Response

Coherence and Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

雅思的4Gates就是其评分标准，分别为“内容”，“逻辑结构”，“语法的准确使用和范围”以及“词汇量”四个标准。根据下面的全面修改案例，读者可以清楚的看到一篇5.5分的雅思范文是如何在修改之前蜕变成为高分作品。Cambridge 8 – Test 2

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed becauseof technology.

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships peoplemake?

Has this become a positive or negative development?

原文：

Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because oftechnology.

Yes, the technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhancedmanner. Earlier people use to wait and try to find easy way to contact theirfriends or relatives leaving far. In past there was no quick technology tocontact or to establish any communication between one person to another person.The drawback with past communication systems was that it were very slow and weretime taking process such as telegrams, letter etc. People used to afraid towrite their personal feedbacks or things to their love ones due to insecuremedium of communication. When it comes to professional level, the privacy andaccuracy should be maintain but, to that time there were no securecommunications.

Now the things have changed around, people from far distance contact theirloves one in an easy and quick ways which improves the interaction level betweentwo person. Quality the level of the interaction between people to people, hasimproved because the people are equipped with high-tec technology which enhancesthe communication. There are many many medium which are available now such asinternet, called cards etc.

The technology has provided the mobility faster which help people to talkor to interact at any time anywhere in the world.

People can contact their friend or relatives any time they want. It hasbecome so easier and feriendly to be in touch with your feriends, relatives evenwith the unknown people.

原文翻译：

今天，由于科技的发展人们相互交流的方式也发生了变化。

是的。技术改善了人们的交流方式。以前人们总是期待找到方便的方法联系居住在异地的亲朋好友。以前没有高效的技术帮助人们沟通交流。以往的通讯系统的问题是速度慢，费时间，比如：电报和信件等。在过去，人们不敢给爱人写一些私密的事情因为担心通信不够安全。专业的通信技术应该是安全的、准确的，但是在当时根本没有安全的通信可言。

现在，这些事情已经改变了，住在远处的人们利用一种高效的方式联系他们的爱人。这些方式改善了人们之间的交流方式。因为人们使用了改善交流的高科技，所以他们交流的方式已经得到改善。现在有了很多这类媒体，比如：国际互联网、语音卡等。

这些技术提供了更快的移动性，帮助人们在任何时间、世界上的任何地方与他人沟通。

现在人们能够在任何时间联系亲朋好友。和朋友、家人以及陌生人的沟通变得更容易了。

(注：上述的习作存在语法错误和表达错误，因此对应的翻译也有一定出入。)

Sample Answer:

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score.Here is the examiner’s comment:

这是一位考生写的5.5分作文。下面是考官的评语。

The topic introduction has been copied from the task and is deducted fromthe word count. This leaves the answer underlength at 236 words, so thecandidate loses marks for this.

文章的开篇是从题目中抄来的，所以不能算字数。剩下的只有236个字，考生因此失分。

This answer addresses both questions, but the first is not well covered interms of how actual relationships have changed. Nevertheless, there is a clearopinion that the effects have been positive and relationships have improved,with some relevant ideas to support this. There is a general progression to theargument, with some effective use of time markers and linkers. There is alsosome repetition, however. Paragraphing is not always logical, and ideas are notalways well linked. A range of vocabulary that is relevant to the topic is used,including some precise and natural expressions. There are quite a lot ofmistakes in word form, word choice or spelling, but these do not usually reduceunderstanding. A variety of sentence type is used, but not always accurately.Errors in grammar and punctuation are distracting at times, but only rarelycause problems for the reader.

此文回答了两个问题，但是在回答第一个问题时，并没有充分讨论问题中关于现实中的关系是如何变化的。但是，文章展示了清晰的观点(这些影响都是好的，而且这些关系都有所改善)并配以相关的观点支持。文章的论证循序渐进，使用了很多表示时间的提示词以及连接词，但是个别有些重复。分段不够逻辑，而且一些观点没有充分的关联。使用了一些与主题相关的词汇，包括准确并自然的表达。虽然有一些词性、词义以及拼写错误，但是并不会太影响理解。使用了各种句型，但是很多不太准。语法错误和标点错误有时会干扰理解，但是不会给读者产生太大的麻烦。

修改意见：

思路问题 本文共有两个问题，其中第一个问题在考生的作品中被忽略了。

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships peoplemake?

对于这样的问题，可以单独使用一段来回答。参考如下：

Model: Communication Technologies not only have great effects on therelations living apart but also have changed the way people befriend.Specifically, the employment of the mobile phone and webs helps friends andrelatives keep in touch with each other and exchange emotions anywhere anytime;the popularity of webs and the use of online chatting tools ease people to meetsome new people who have their same ideas or characteristics as those ofthem.

大意：通讯技术不但对身处异地的亲朋好友之间有着巨大的影响，而且也在很大程度上改变了人们结识新朋友的方式。具体来说，手机和网络的使用使得亲朋好友之间可以随时随地沟通消息、传递情感;网络的普及以及聊天软件的使用让很多人更容易认识一些和他们志同道合或是有着共同点的素未谋面的新朋友。

流畅、连贯性问题 见下文

语法问题: 见下文

词汇问题： 见下文

修改后：

Nowadays,.(It is true that technology has shifted people’s communicativeways. 利用It is true that的句式突出后面的事件;Change和shift是同义词替换;the way peopleinteract和communicative way是同义词替换。这样的变化可以避免引用题目中的原词。)

(拒绝非正式的用法。)The technology has changed the people’s interaction in veryenhanced manner. Earlier people used(前后时态必须一致。)to wait and try to find easyways(名词单复数)to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In the past, therewas no (词汇使用不当，应该改成effective)technology to contact others or to establish anycommunication between two people.And(重要的连接词，表示本句和上一句共同解释为什么“人们一直在期待找到更有效的通讯方式。”)the drawback ofthe pastcommunication systems was that they (指代不清，这里指代的是communication systems)were too(表示“太”。)slow and were time-consuming (表示“费时”), including(这是应该使用分词形式，表示对主句的communication ways的具体描述。)the telegrams, the letter etc. Notonly that,(这里需要连接词)people used to be afraid to write their personal feedbacks orthings to their loved ones because of (because of 强调“外因”;due to强调“根据”)information security (根据上下文理解，此处应该表达的是“信息安全”)of communication. (Theyworried their letters might be stolen or read by somestrangers.这里可以继续描述人们的担心。)

However，(上文主要讨论过去的情况，而接下来将讨论现在的变化)now the things have changedaround.(必须避免使用“，”连接两个句子。正确的处理方法是，要么采用断句的方法，要么添加连词。)People in a long distancecontact their lovesd one in (effective and efficient) ways, whichimprove(主谓一致，which代替ways。)the interaction level between two persons. Quality(用词重复)of the interaction between people and people(主谓之间不能添加“，”。)has beenimproved(这里使用被动是因为沟通质量的提升是因为技术的发展。)because they are equipped withhigh-techdevices which enhances their communication. There aremany(重复)mediummediaavailable such as internet, called cards etc.So thetechnology has provided better mobility , which help people to talk or keep intouch with each other at any time anywhere in theworld.(不应该单独成段，应该和上一段结合在一起。)(本句应该被删除，因为没有提出任何新的观点，并且与上文的句子非常重复。)

雅思写作高分范文：我们为什么要上大学

People attend college or university for many different reasons (forexample, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do youthink people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples tosupport your answer.

People attend colleges or universities for a lot of different reasons. Ibelieve that the three most common reasons are to prepare for a career, to havenew experiences, and to increase their knowledge of themselves and the worldaround them.

Career preparation is becoming more and more important to young people. Formany, this is the primary reason to go to college, They know that the job marketis competitive. At college, they can learn new skill for careers with a lot ofopportunities. This means careers, such as information technology, that areexpected to need a large workforce in the coming years.

浅谈雅思高分作文四个标准化

一 题目为中心-审题的标准化

考生通常会因为考试时的紧张情绪和准备不足而忽略审题。雅思出题是非常有技巧的，他通常不会浪费任何一个文字。也就是说题目中所出现的每一个词汇都有他存在的意义。举一个很简单的例子：在去年的考试当中曾经出现过这样一个考题事实的描述是这样的today more and morecrime contacted by young people… 很显然这个题目是有关青少年犯罪。但是题目叙述中用到的是increasing一词。很多同学在写这篇文章时，常常会出现这样一种普遍情况-文章全篇都在讨论青少年犯罪的原因，但是没有讨论犯罪率增加的原因。

这样的文章可以说是文不对题。当考官在评判这类文章的时候，通常有两种可能：如果文章本身写的不好，考官可能认为是学生的能力问题;如果考生的写作水平比较高或者写的非常准确，考官很有可能认为这篇文章有背诵的嫌疑，因为文章本身和题目是对不上的。所以考生应该关注文章本身的内容。那么究竟什么样的文章可以被称为good answer呢?首先，一定要是准确回答问题文章。所以这也就是雅思的第一个标准叫做task response。我们一定要回应问题仔细分析问题，才能得到题目所带给我们足够多的信息和提示。

针对此部分的学习，建议同学们可以通过一些机经和教材重点训练一下审题的能力。这样可以逐渐养成在考试的时候认真审题发现Keywords的这种能力。

二 逻辑为纲要-逻辑结构的标准化

在大家以往的学习中，通常会把这种逻辑结构简单的看成一套或几套模板。这个概念并不错，首先很多人在进行写作的时候都需要有一个框架。特别是议论文本身框架感就是极强的。但是如何写出令考官满意的一套或几套模板，则需要对雅思写作考试有一个全面而透彻的了解。仔细回顾2011年及2012年上半年的考题，不难发现考题的类型是不断在转换的。但大体可以分为‘4+1’种类型。

为什么说是‘4+1’呢?传统的雅思考试包括四种考试类型：第一种叫做to what extend do you agree or disagree，这种题目近似于辩论，也就是他的问题是要求考生回答‘在某种程度上，在某些情况下是否同意一个观点’;第二种题目discuss both views and give your own opinion请考生‘讨论两个观点并提出自己的看法’这种题目在西方人的写作世界里，特别是academic writing中被称作为讨论式，它通常是通过分析两个观点的强与弱，然后得到自己对于观点的认知;第三种discuss advantage and disadvantage 这种题目有时也会is it a positive development或者is it a negative development这种题目实际上是分析优缺点;最后一种题目，它往往会问到why and give your advice即分析一个现象的原因，并找到它的解决方案。过去的题目基本上以这四种为主，每种题目都要配上相应的方式进行回答。也就是说，一般来讲我们建议考生拿着四套forms，也就是这四套模板。而从去年的考试中我们可以清晰的发现很多模板开始进行了融合。

比如说在去年的年底，特别是在12月份，我们发现这几场考试中，其中就有两场考试先问了大家有关原因的问题，但是并没有问解决方法而是直接让我们进行优缺点的比较。那么在这种情况下，如果没有做过举一反三训练的考生可能会在考试中忽然发现自己无法驾驭这种新型文章的结构和逻辑。所以在大家准备结构和逻辑的时候一定要关注这种变形题，使用转换基本结构变形模板这样一种能力，而不是简单的单纯的背几套模板，这样是远远不够的。其次，我要提到模板的基本概念，很多同学认为一篇文章中绝大部分的内容都出自于模板是件好事，因为这样可以减少我们在考试中的一些变数。但事实绝非如此。大家可以设想假如在一篇文章当中，如果出现了大量与题目本身内容无关而仅仅是通过套话来表述的内容的时候，那么是没有读者愿意看的。在雅思考试中，考官会如何处理这样的问题呢?他首先不会主观的判定这是模板，而是把所有与题目无关的所有句子完全delete，甚至是remove掉，这样会导致很多考生的作品因为字数不足而失分，这是得不偿失的。所以关于模板的部分建议大家学会准确的使用一套路标词。所谓的路标词是指像in conclusion，however, furthermore等等 用这些路标词组织一个模板，并且逐渐产生对这种模板的逻辑效应。关于这一部分的内容我建议大家通过课上或是官方出版物进行学习，这样是比较有效的学习方法。

三 句型为基础-语法的标准化

谈到语法很多同学觉得very worrying或是so difficult。在此我所想谈到的语法并非是大家所学习的语法知识或规则，而是语法的应用。很多上过我课程的同学更多的认为语法是一种游戏规则 (game rules)，一旦掌握游戏规则，随着千变万化的词汇使用，语法的千变万化是非常有趣的。而且渐渐的大家可以把语法的概念当做是拼图游戏或是独立的创造过程，在这其中很多同学就会找到一种实用语法的乐趣。所以在写作的环境中，我们不谈语法知识，只谈语法应用。

关于实用语法，我只谈一个问题：很多同学认为写一个句子就是要将好的辞藻进行堆砌，在语法上只要不犯单数第三人称的错误就可以了。但事实绝非如此。在西方人看来，区分一个好句子的方式，实际上是由动词决定。那么动词为什么这么重要，因为它将决定句子的性质。我举一个非常简单的例子，我们这里说这样一句话there is a boy who likes playing basketball和第二句话a boy likes playing basketball.这两句话如果单纯的从中文意译上进行分析这两句话是非常相似的。因为大多数同学都会翻译为有一个男孩喜欢打篮球。但事实不然，第一句话是there is a boy…这句话的重点变成了讨论a boy即一个小男孩，一个喜欢打篮球的小男孩是存在的，他的重点是a boy。而第二句话a boy likes playing basketball. 这句话的动词是likes也就是说它所强调的是喜爱这件事情而绝非是小男孩这样一个人物。所以这样如果从英文的本质和应用的角度来讲，不难会发现第一句话在描述人，而第二句话实际上在描述一个事件。那么很多考生如果不注意这些细节，很有可能你的句子就语法单独而言是正确的，但是却发现无法写出一个让考官能够准确理解的句子。这样也导致大家的语法分数很难提高，那些追求7分，7.5，8分的同学在这点上要特别注意。

四 词汇为亮点-词汇的标准化

不久前我刚刚和王陆老师共同撰写了《雅思王写作语料库》，在和王陆老师的沟通中，我们看到了一种词汇的发展方向。很多同学都在讨论什么样的词汇是高分词。比如pollution很多同学认为应该换成contamination这样的复杂词汇。很多同学在词汇的选择使用方面存在着很大的误区。很多考生认为在词的方面是越长越好或是越罕见越好。但事实并非如此，当大家研读剑桥系列书后的范文的时候，大家都会大失所望。我们通常认为的那种所谓的顶级词汇，在考官的范文中可以说是凤毛麟角。但是恰恰相反，我们认为很‘土’的那些小词 (像think)往往在考官的范文里面会出现三次，甚至是三次以上。

由此可见，我们对于词的理解应该有一个新的认识，或者踏上一个新的台阶。那么关于词汇的具体应用主要包括三点。首先第一点是要保证基本词义正确，这是一个最起码的要求。第二点是要追求词性的准确应用。举个简单的例子，在课堂上我经常会看见同学们犯这样的错误：如convinced形容词形式和convince名词形式是不分的。那么在这种情况下，考官一旦发现这样的错误将直接判断考生没有关注词性，即没有关注词本身的应用，这样是很难取得高分的。第三点关于词汇的应用就是替换。很多同学认为同义词的替换是非常有价值的。确实如此，但是这个过程将会耗费大量的时间甚至是精力，一旦用错，反而会弄巧成拙。所以在同义词替换上我们非常建议大家如果有可能的话，会将词性进行转换，即很多时候我可以这样说it is important for sb. to do sth.同样你也可以继续写成it is of great importance for sb. to do sth 这样的词性替换既安全又能体现考生绝佳的词性替换及词汇量。所以从这个角度而言，会有效的增加大家在词汇部分的得分。

雅思大作文高分范文：criminals

Should criminals be sent to a jail or let them do something else as punishment instead of sending into a jail? Why and give your reasons.

There has long been controversy concerning the objectives of the justice system. Sending criminals to a prison seems to be a justified punishment for damages inflicted to victims or society. But currently an increasing number of people goes with the option that criminals should be given appropriate amount of community services as a substitute of correction measures.

Traditionally courts sentence law violators to serve a period of time in a prison or, under some circumstances, a correction institution if the offenders are minors or the charges are not serious. Criminals, after serving their time, are discharged back to the street. Ironically many of them end up becoming victims of the law itself. For example, a forty years old man served 10 years in prison for intentional injury. Released from jail, he found himself having great trouble in making a living because he lacked new skills and knowledge for work. No place wanted him for fear of possible future wrongdoings because of his criminal record. In many cases, ex-criminals become outcasts of community and are forced to commit other crimes for revenge or other reasons.

On the contrary, criminals could be changed into contributing members of the society again if given a second chance. In such cases, they perform public services under supervision making a meager but honest living. This not only cuts the expenses of keeping them in jails such as food, cloth, and numerous other costs, but also warns would-be law offenders the consequences for illegal actions. This is particularly effective for minor criminals who stand a greater chance of achieving the corrective aims.

But it is no easy job to draw a fine line between those who should be given a lighter punishment and those who should be more heavily published due the nature of law under complex circumstances. Nevertheless, we should encourage more effective ways of law enforcement to protect law-abiding citizens and, at the same time, deter and punish violators at any level so that criminals would not take advantage of lighter punishments.

To sum up, either sending criminals to a prison or giving them community work as another form of punishment has merits for different reasons. But we need to be clear of the goals of law and choose more effective ways of law enforcement.